I drink mojitos at 11am

August 7, 2009

Tobias Alexander Ratcliffe, better known as Ray Gun of assembly-line pop knobs Raygun, manages in five self-awareness-free minutes what Spinal Tap took a feature film, several spin-off albums, a Simpsons cameo and an ill-conceived Glastonbury appearance to achieve.

First part:

Second part:




Things that Michael McIntyre has almost certainly said out loud to himself when he is alone, perhaps when driving*

June 6, 2009

* (All of which lack the integrity of truth, humility or the merest hint that he isn’t the smuggest prick on television.)

– “WOW, things are going really, really well. My appearances on The One Show are probably YouTube classics!”

– “That joke probably isn’t funny, but if I laugh at it and put on a regional accent – who knows?”

– “How many times have I said I look like a fat Chinaman when I smile? About a hundred or so? Maybe there’s more mileage in it if I cover it up with the sound of my own laughter.”

– “Simply put, I am a comedy phenomenon.”

– “HAHAHAHAHA…. I can’t believe it! I’ve done it AGAIN! Well done, me!”

– “I don’t think there will ever come a time when people won’t find me hilarious. This is inconceivable to me. Surely not?”

– “Could I be the man to revive ‘airplane peanuts’?”

– “Being Michael McIntyre is joyous.”

Man dies on TV!*

May 16, 2009


* Not literally.  Watching this is just as painful, however, as having one’s balls removed via gnashing teeth.

Shirley Ghostman was a character played by Marc Wootoon, who is to comedy what a punch in the face might be to a romantic candle-lit dinner. Here he guests on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, in character (and what a character!) and promptly offends Friend/Jew David Schwimmer by riffing on Hitler, has his inept attempts at banter rebuffed by a non-plussed Nicole Kidman, and just generally fails, fails, fails.  This is compelling viewing, if only for the fact that you are watching the demise of one man’s career, confined to one self-immolating interview


Music : Passion Pit – Manners.

Book: Kurt Vonnegut – Jailbird